Ok, so maybe “two” doesn’t make for much of a roundup, but this pair of recent Japan-side releases (both available August 28) compensate for lack of quantity with their sheer quality.

First up is キャプテン★レインボー (Captain Rainbow), an adventure/action game for the Wii featuring a cattlecall of b-list (perhaps rather, c-list) Nintendo celebs. Early on in the game, you run into Birdo, who is probably most notable as the egg-spitting transvestite mini-boss from Super Mario Bros. 2. Chris Kohler at Wired.com perhaps best summarizes the encounter (and the mood of the game as a whole) with the following scene:

Birdo is seen by the island’s robot police officer as he/she comes out of a public toilet. (The line he delivers as he comes out: “Wow, that was huge. That was like giving birth.”)

The officer throws him in jail for using the ladies’ room when he’s clearly a man. Birdo asks you to go to his/her house and find “evidence that I’m a woman.” So you do. This is how it happens. As you walk into Birdo’s bedroom, you hear … a buzzing. The pillow on her bed is vibrating and buzzing. You walk up to it, and Captain Rainbow looks under the pillow to find … an item that’s censored out on the screen. It’s covered up with a question mark. “Proof that the owner is a woman,” it says, leaving it at that.

So you bring what is in all likelihood Birdo’s vibrator back to the police robot, who accepts it, whatever it may be, as prima facie evidence that Birdo is a chick.

Next up is a perhaps less familiar but no less weird offering for the DS, a 15+ rated “touching” game, To LOVEる. What sets To LOVEる apart from its peers is the milk-squirting mini-game. The object of this mini-game is to squirt sweetened condensed milk onto a strawberry that the girl on the screen is holding and moving around. Inevitably, the player more often than not misses the strawberry and as expected, the girl is subjected to the inexorable dictates of physics.

Thanks to Kotaku for the lead to the video and fast forward to 3:07 to view the milk-squirting game.