“I have never met a Japanese man who did not want me to be his mommy.”
The quote in this post’s headline comes from an article in today’s Washington Post about Japanese women who choose to delay marriage and a “growing willingness to do without children — or childish husbands.”
Most of the article covers Japan’s demographic problem, discrimination against women in the workforce, and government measures being taken to deal with the problems. There’s also a portion focusing on Takako Katayama, a 37-year-old unmarried woman that works at a cable TV network.
Here’s their video interview with Katayama:
Katayama testifies to that. “Guys will allow a woman to express herself, but they do not want their position threatened,” she said. “They want to stand above the girl.”
Equally annoying, according to Katayama, is the rarely stated but almost universal expectation of Japanese men to be fed, clothed and picked up after. “I am willing to take care of and give comfort to a man whom I care about, but that does not mean I want to be his mother,” she said.
Research here shows that after a divorce, men tend to feel unhappy and remarry quickly. Divorced women, though, are relatively happy and often delay remarriage.
Katayama’s views aren’t very different from what I’ve heard from a few Japanese women, but I can’t help but wonder why the Washington Post’s report relied so heavily on comments from a single English-speaking Japanese person. Surely some interviews with a few other women, possibly even some that aren’t interesting in foreign languages, could have provided a slightly broader view of how unmarried Japanese women view the situation.
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