Comments on: Charisma Men?

By: ล่ามแปลภาษาอังกฤษจีน

ล่ามแปลภาษาอังกฤษจีน — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 06:57:36 +0000

send them a Thank You card. Let them know how essential they are to you and that it doesn’t have to be a holiday to get a card from you. In the act of writing Thank You cards, you are deflecting the unfavorable out of your thoughts and filling mind with the constructive. And most importantly, you are taking action

By: The truth

The truth — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 00:25:15 +0000

No it is because western media has brainwashed the entire world in that white men and women are seen as the ideal. This is why many people in Asia feel like they aren’t as good as white people, and why many white men go to Asia because they have been conditioned to believe that they can make it there with the women in a way that they couldn’t in the West.

If you want to complain about racism, go complain about the disgusting portrayals of Asians in Western media and how it affects people attitudes. If everyone were truly treated as equals, the charisma man phenomena would not even happen.

By: Jim

Jim — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 17:04:42 +0000

I think there is something implictly racist about this stereotype, as well as its American counterpart, the yellow fever / asiaphile.

In essence, it assumes that Japanese women (or Asian women) are de facto *inferior* to white caucasian or western women. The men dating Japanese women are “losers” because they “cant get white women” who, it goes without saying, are preferable and superior. While ostensibly mocking these white guys, it manages to subtly assume that Japanese women are second class, and only losers have to resort to them. Perhaps this is why the people making these stereotypes are largely westerners themselves, whose “sympathy” for he plight of Japanese women seems awfully condescending.

These men have to go a few rungs down the ladder of the social hierarchy to inferior Asian women because they were too geeky/ugly/wimpy for white women. However, luckily, since asians are ‘inferior’, they are automatically become top dog in that lower rung.

I think this racial hierarchy is implicit in this stereotype. It’s funny how people could say, in essence, “look at that loser who has to date asians to get a woman”, don’t realize that they are positing white women as the superior race.

Imagine the opposite — imagine a world where someone dating an Asian (or other minority) was considered high status. The reaction of a “loser” who could ‘climb the social ladder’ and date someone clearly ‘superior’ would be more like “that lucky bastard, how did he land himself that woman? what could she see in him?”

(Also note that black men dating white women often get accused of ‘disrespecting’ black women, or having a “trophy wife” — never accusing these black men of being losers. The racial hierarchy is implicit here as well. )

Basically, the Charisma man folks are telling us that White Women are superior, and only loser Whites who can’t get these prized women have to scrounge for minority women.

By: Jim

Jim — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 16:58:18 +0000

I think there is something implictly racist about this stereotype, as well as its American counterpart, the yellow fever / asiaphile.

Basically, the Charisma man folks are telling us that White Women are superior, and only loser Whites who can’t get these prized women have to scrounge for minority women.

By: sarah

sarah — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 06:15:41 +0000

there is no doubt there is an element of truth to charisma man, i work in the night clubbing district of kyoto and i see the most lanky awkward squares approach young cute j girls with basically a high five and nothing else and man do they get a response, it would not work the same o a group of young western girls.
I live in the same building as an isreali man in his late 30s who came to japan to “find a girl” but has decided it was a mistake because “the culture is to strong” and he wanted a nice japanese girl not a strong willed one
well when he said this i wanted to say HA HA you thought you could come and get a dosile japanese wifey that followed you around like a little puppy obeying your every whim and making you miso just the way you like it HA HA.

By: Japanese National

Japanese National — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 14:33:21 +0000

These debates will always be biased in FAVOR of “Charisma Men” because the grand majority of Westerners that come to Japan are…Charisma Men. Language schools are the biggest employers of foreigners in Japan and a whopping 80% of the employees are MALE. Head hunting companies are the second largest employers of foreigners and from what I have seen, the employees are also predominantly MALE. There is a lot of truth to the American woman’s claims about Charisma Men, and it is embarrassing to these guys. Hence, these guys fight tooth and nail to deny it and protect their reputation, and try to shift the negative attention to foreign women by accusing them of being jealous, sexist, or trying to sabotage white men from finding love in Japan. However, Western women are rare in Japan, and the few that are here don’t care about Charisma Men. Only Japanese women do. Charisma Men should get over their insecurities, own up to their shortcomings, and just enjoy the dating scene in Japan.

By: The Original Charisma Man

The Original Charisma Man — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 05:21:54 +0000

We must all come together and fight the Western Woman. Here, I’ve compiled every panel that she’s appeared in:

http://i.imgur.com/L98za.gif

Use this to track her down and defeat her. GOD SPEED!

By: Tom

Tom — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 07:53:43 +0000

People here seem to be looking over Charisma mans partner in crime… CHARISMA WOMAN. Just because you don’t see her often doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist.

She is in many way like Charisma man, a weird, unnatractive, creepy Westerner. Usually what would be described as a plain jane type. In the same way she is appreciated for her Western appearance while overlooking the fact in her home country she would be ugly and socially awkward.

I think pairing up Charisma man and Charisma woman would be a match made in heaven.

By: Korean Men and Western Women, Part I « Streetwise in Seoul: Mini-essays about living in Korea

Sat, 01 May 2010 05:32:16 +0000

[...] in Japan, is transformed into “Charisma Man,” who is very attractive to Japanese women.[1] The Charisma Man Effect holds true in Korea too. Even if a white man is balding, obese, and has a [...]

By: jer

jer — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 04:35:06 +0000

I agree totally that the media plays a key role in shaping people’s preferences. It makes you wonder who makes these decisions? Writers? Producers? Advertisers? The media isn’t just an amorphous entity, it’s made up of human beings that make decisions based on their own personal biases and prejudices. Do they openly say in meetings: “Let’s fix every asian woman up with a white or black man” or “No asian guy can be seen as being sexually attractive – not even to other asian women…and especially not to females of any other race” Or is it some unspoken standard that everyone observes out of reflex? I would suspect that the majority of people making these casting decisions are white males, second to that would be white females, then how many minorities are represented would be anybody’s guess, but judging from the results, I would say very few, if any, asian men are making any of these decisions.
The second most desexualized group would be black women, especially darker skinned ones. They don’t get it as bad as asian men but the bias against them is still noticeable. Ever notice that black men are always portrayed with either white or asian women or black women with lighter skin than them. I’ve seen a few exceptions but it’s true 98% of the time you see a black male partnered with someone. You get the message: Lighter skinned black women are more desirable than darker skinned ones, even more desirable, of course, are white or asian women. Again, it begs the question: Who makes these decisions? Why does this continue to happen over and over again. What – no asian man can have a relationship? No black man would find a woman with darker skin than him desirable? Is it some sort of underlying racism and bigotry that makes the people pushing these messages belive this crap? I have no doubt many, if not most, of the people in the entertainment industry would define themselves as anti racist liberals but the evidence is there every time you watch a movie or something on TV. Black women are rarely cast in romantic lead roles, the exception would maybe be Halle Berry who, with a white mother, has the light skin and caucasian features that Hollywood finds more acceptable than darker more african looking women. Some entertainment people might say we cast the kind of people the public wants to see. Really? How do they know that people wouldn’t watch movies with asian men or darker skinned black women in romantic roles when they never produce movies or TV shows with them in them?

By: ypyap

ypyap — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 17:21:47 +0000

Martin (who posted above) is a white guy dating a japanese women. In his post he said “We’re talking about normal, every day women here, not sluts you pick up in a bar. There’s sluts in any country.”

“Sluts”. Hmmmm…. What a nice guy he sounds like….referring to women who sleep with men on the first date as ‘sluts’.

Yup, as I said earlier, I find that most of these white men who date asian women are closet misogynists. Only a misogynist would refer to women who behave a certain way as “sluts”.

By: ypyap

ypyap — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 16:46:45 +0000

I definitely agree with the premise of the strip. I live in NYC and even see it here. White boys who like to show how ‘worldly’ they are, and so for a first date, they will take an asian woman to some type of asian restaurant, to show her how ‘cool’ he is…that he actually knows about a little Koreatown hideaway, or that he knows about the different types of sake. He’ll then mention how much he’s travelled in Asia…how much he likes Asian ‘culture’. (Um, what is Asian ‘culture’? Is there such a thing as European ‘culture’? Saying ‘Asian culture’ just shows how lame he really is….)

And it’s no secret that there are many of Asian (esp Japanese) women in the U.S. that will specifically ONLY date white or black men. When you see such a proliferation of white man/asian female couples in NYC, it’s very clear that these couples did not get together out of pure coincidence. MOST inter-racial couples ARE together because of racial stereotypes, and/or because they see the other (white) person as a ‘trophy’. Do you think it’s any coincidence that so many black professional sports players have WHITE wives? I don’t agree with it, but for anyone to deny that white partners aren’t seen as ‘trophies’ by many non-white people is to have your head in the sand.

Take a look at any TV show in the U.S., and any time an asian female is depicted, she is almost ALWAYS shown with a white or black man. The ONE exception on TV is the show LOST. Every other asian female on TV is with a non-asian man. Then take the asian MAN. The complete opposite is true on TV. With the one exception of the show Flash Forward, every asian man on TV is never shown with a romantic partner. He is always ALONE.

People are TAUGHT by the media and society which races/genders are considered desirable. People then internalize this, and it manifests itself in dating patterns. Asian women are considered ‘hot’, ‘exotic’, ‘cool to have on your arm’. Asian men are considered the total opposite, in general.

If everything I said were NOT true, you would see more variety in inter-racial relationships in New York City, the biggest melting pot of ethnicities in the world. But no. Even in NYC, you see the same old inter-racial couples, with the asian female/non-asian male topping the list. Asian women have made it very clear that they want nothing to do with the asian male, and white and black men realized very quickly how easy it is to find an asian girlfriend. In a bar full of asian women, the white or black men knows he is king of the domain.

By: Rufus

Rufus — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 06:53:16 +0000

I probably was somewhat of what she describes, but now around 40 I have two very handsome half Japanese/US sons and think things turned out well. They got the best traits of the wife and I. As a biology major, keep in mind that individuals who travel abroad are generally intelligent or hardy enough to make it there and survive in a foreign culture, so from the J-female prespective they illustrate high survivorship. Also, disparate DNA matches tend to lead to stronger offspring.

By: jer

jer — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:50:58 +0000

The Charisma man type isn’t exclusive to white men/asian women. How about a black “Charisma Man”. I’ve seen many black men who are disfunctional with black women but seem irresistably charming to many white women. Watch these black men/white women interact and there are many similarities to the white men/asian women behaviors. Would the creators of “Charisma Man” have the courage to create a black “Charisma Man” character? They would be accused of racism, of course, but then why is it OK to do to white men/asian women? Ignore the double standard, there’s nothing wrong with commenting on something that exists, it deserves mockery just as much as the white men/asian women behavior.

By: Ajapa

Ajapa — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:03:57 +0000

Don’t go to Japan! "come" ではなくて "go" なんですね。「やしき」については、やしきたかじんの『たかじんのそこまで言って委員会』という、かなり右寄りに感じる大阪ローカル番組（他の地域でも放送されている）があるので、ある意味知られているのかもしれません。

By: ponta

ponta — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:15:53 +0000

ああ、そういえば、やしきたかじんさん、というタレントさんがいましたね。ただ、たぶん、関東ではかなり、めずらしい・・・というより、指摘されて初めて思いつきました。因みに、体型とは関係・・・・最近あるかな？

By: ponta

ponta — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:11:56 +0000

おっしゃるように、たしかに「日本人である」と一切言っていない。が、この文脈では、we=Japanese ⊃　yashiki という含意がある、あるいは、そのような印象を持たせたい、と考えるのが素直でしょう。
また、「屋敷」や「邸宅」といった類のハンドルはみたことがありません。

ポンタはググるとわかりますが、人や動物や漫画のキャラなどに使われる名前です。ログインするとき名前は何でもよかったのですが、そのとき適当に浮かんだ名前をいれて、それをずっと使っています。

By: Aki

Aki — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:08:27 +0000

タレントの「やしきたかじん」の場合は、家鋪と書いてやしきと読むのが本名のようです。でも、”don’t go to Japan”は、ポンタさんが言うように怪しさ全開ですね。もしも上のやしきさんが日本人で、「うぃー」と書くような人なら、”don’t come to Japan”と書かないとおかしいですね。stressに関しても、ポンタさんに同感です。

> The Overthinkerさん
「ポンタ」は、日本人の子供の間では、わりとよくあるニックネームだと思います。私の小学校の時の同級生にも、同じニックネームの子がいました。体型からの連想で付けられることが多いと思います。ヒントは、「ぽんぽこぽん」の「ぽん」。
（割り込んですみません＞ポンタさん）

By: The Overthinker

The Overthinker — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:57:21 +0000

「日本人である」と、いっさい発言していません。仰る通り、日本人ではない可能性も高いです。ただ、「やしき」はちゃんとした日本語であることを述べたかっただけです。特に深い意味はありません（日本人なら「屋敷」のことはしているはずですが）。つまり、人名ではないから「日本人ではない」と言い切れないためです。私の方も、本名ではないことは当然ですが、人名でも何でものありません。

因みに、「ポンタ」はどういう意味でしょうか。「ポンテ」（ponte)なら、イタリア語で「橋」、「橋梁」のいみですが、「ポンタ」は分かりません。

By: ponta

ponta — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:49:16 +0000

因みに、この方のように　この文脈で　we を主語に使う程度の日本人英語学習者なら、「日本にくるな」という日本語の文章が頭にあって、それを英訳する、つまり、Don’t come to Japan　にするのではないか、そして、Don’t stressって用法はなかなか日本人英語学習者が使えない用法ではないのではないか、と思います。そこらへん怪しいと感じたところです。

”やしき”くん、どうして、ウイ　が外人は嫌いだ、と思っているの？

By: ponta

ponta — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:36:20 +0000

しかし、ハンドルに使いますかね？
名前とすれば、よしき、でしょう。

By: The Overthinker

The Overthinker — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:29:51 +0000

「やしき」とは、大型な住宅でしょう。「屋敷」です。取りあえず、そういう意味しかないでしょう。

By: ponta

ponta — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:22:30 +0000

日本人のふりをするにはwe を使うのが定番になったのかな？

やしきってなに？

By: yashiki (IP ADDRESS: FRANCE)

yashiki (IP ADDRESS: FRANCE) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:33:05 +0000

We don’t like gaijin. Don’t go to Japan !
to the US military : don’t stress and don’t forget the Hiroshima and Nagasaki Nuclear Bombing

By: gumpy

gumpy — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 05:43:54 +0000

Whatever, the heck with all this garbage – it takes two to tango – the dicker and the dickee – women of all races and all countries like bad boy player douchebags – they want to be lied to and they want to be abused, otherwise these guys would get no play. If being a player charisma man didn’t WORK, no one would DO IT.

By: chinamanfocus

chinamanfocus — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 07:20:16 +0000

you’re a right on, sensitive dude. Generalizations will always abound, i think both the initial lady and the replying fellow made some valid points. A little vitriol and exaggeration are necessary to get the topic warmed up.

In China, it’s hard not to cringe at the white players who pick up chinese girls, but over in Shanghai most of these guys are suave, good looking cats. They were probably players back in Italy, France, Australia, the States, etc. But in japan, i dunno.

By: me

me — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:19:49 +0000

it’s called sarcasm. please look it up on wikipedia or something– it will serve you well in your internet exploits.

By: Jason

Jason — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:35:59 +0000

I am in the US Navy. I was stationed out of Yokosuka and Yokohama, Japan for approx 7 yrs.
I can see both points. However, from my point of view it goes like this:
I can attest and inform that it is not only Japan and/or Asia since I have been to over 20 some different countries. Women flock to us in Australia, Russia, Germany, etc.
The women onboard the ship I was stationed on used to get after me. They questioned why I would only date locals and no one from the ship.
They, the women on the ship, were the minority in Japan. They wanted to have boyfriends, etc. Yet many of us, including myself, would only date the local girls.
Part of this is due to ships policy. Another reason is due to the fact that if it goes awry you could potentially be stuck for months on end in the middle of the ocean staring at each other and hating each other. Not a very conducive working environment.
The US military has a large presence in Japan. There are thousands upon thousands of us stationed overseas in Japan. The ratio of our men to women is horrible. Why try to date an American woman while you are stationed over there if 20 other guys are fighting for the same woman? When you can go off base and get yourself a girlfriend.
Then you have to take into account that the average age of a soldier, airman, marine, and sailor is 19. I was 19 yrs old when I was sent overseas to be stationed in Japan; left when I was 26.
I know that I had no plans on getting married before my mid twenties. So why would I date only one person? I had always dated multiple people; even before I was stationed out of Japan. I was young and having fun.
I don’t think that I was a rarity over there. I don’t think that the majority of foreigners in Japan can only date in Japan. I know this because there were several guys who had girlfriends back home in the states while they were stationed overseas. I also know that many of them also dated Japanese women even though they had girlfriends in the states.
Sure, there might be a couple of guys here and there who “are perceived” as incapable of dating in their home country and date in Japan.
I have known a few guys who thought that way. They had never really had a girlfriend prior to going to Japan. Now they are out of the military, back in the states, married with children to American women.

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 06:55:26 +0000

It’s just biology. It happens in nature too. The unsuccessful males leave the pack and are naturally more attractive to females from other areas.
The females see a certain allure in males from other areas, and the men don’t have the same level of competition.
Sure, there’s a whole other load of factors thrown in there, such as Japan’s unique viewpoint towards the west, the desire to learn English, and stereotypes about western men, and the typical Japanese man.
I’m in the UK, and I remember when I was young that it used to bother me that girls would seem to swoon over a man for no other reason than he was Italian or French.
But the same goes for a lot of countries except where the men come from poorer countries. Then those men get the opposite effect of Charisma man.
I’ve known attractive Eastern European blokes who have no trouble with ladies back home, but have been in the UK for 5 years and never gone out with an English girl.
A foreign accent is a turn on as long as it’s not a poor sounding one.
And it’s all down to males and females trying to better the success of their children. In the case of females: either through reducing chance of genetic mutation by choosing a male who they share less genes with (i.e. foreign), or increasing their chances by choosing a nice guy who will stick around, or by choosing someone with plenty of money who can afford to support children.
Whereas men go wherever they can to increase their chances of their children’s survival, some choose to be the marrying type and look after a family, some choose to hedge their bets and increase the number of children and families that they create (the players). And some go further afield where they have a higher success rate with females, and these males may be the players or the nice guys or any combination of the myriad different kinds of people they can turn out to be based on their actions, feelings and intentions.
For the record, I’m married to a Japanese girl who I met in the UK (so that must make me one of the first stereotypes). Anyway, I’ve no problem with the so called ‘players’ either here, in the US or in Japan. They’re just doing their thing, and women throughout the world have to deal with what happens when you go for the more charismatic, often more attractive, but ultimately self-serving men.
And if you can go from being a geek to being a player by travelling to Japan, and that’s your method of being successful and feeling good about yourself, then fair play to you. I’d put those men in the same category as the women who choose to marry for money, or have one man (unwittingly) bring up another man’s child. You’re all just playing the game and doing it for your own needs.
We all just choose different paths to success. I just like the idea of choosing the less self centred route. But who knows maybe if I’d have been a lot more attractive, richer, and more successful I’d have found the easiest route was to be a player.
Maybe I wouldn’t have needed to attempt to develop empathy, intelligence, or understanding of others.

By: Philip Zeplin

Philip Zeplin — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 22:16:49 +0000

It does, dosn’t it.

By: Martin

Martin — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 01:48:14 +0000

If I tell my g/f (a Japanese passport holder) that she’s supposed to be subservient and nice and never give any bad mouth to anyone she has a laugh, then I have a laugh, and then we get on with out lives. Seriously, this blog post is a pile of crap stereotypes about both foreign men and Japanese women. I wonder if in those 17 years her Japanese ever got good enough to have a serious conversation with a Japanese woman. (And yes, I know a bunch of gaijin, especially English teachers, who never got that far, and these are of course the most frustrated ones).

If she would ever have a serious talk with a Japanese woman she’d notice that Japanese women are everything but stupid and subservient and passive. They’re just good at creating that image.

We’re talking about normal, every day women here, not sluts you pick up in a bar. There’s sluts in any country.

It’s really to bad for the original blog poster to spend half her life in a foreign country and never get the slightest clue.

By: Japan’s answer to the Om Bule Genit? « Unspun

Japan’s answer to the Om Bule Genit? « Unspun — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 05:47:18 +0000

[...] clipped from http://www.japanprobe.com [...]

By: Cutetwirler

Cutetwirler — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 02:49:26 +0000

I think geek guys are cute

By: Cutetwirler

Cutetwirler — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 02:48:06 +0000

I think that both bloggers have a point. Whilst there ARE a lot of men who go about using Japanese girls simply because they can, and because of the stereotype placed on them through the media (I found a comment on a Japan related forum once that said “I can’t wait to have a J-girlfriend because they are all so easy and open minded in bed”. The following comments backed this guy’s view in a kind of “phroah! I heard all Japanese girls love anal and are up for threesomes!”)

At the same time, there are lots of lovely gaijin men here. Men who are dating a J-girl because they like her a cool. Men who want to date Japanese women exclusively, I have a problem with, unless they have good reasons.

By: Marcus Larsson

Marcus Larsson — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 06:08:00 +0000

Could this woman be more sexist? What is more disguisting about a man going to japan to try and find love and/or sex than a man that does it in America or where ever he’s from? Please do count the ammount of men AND WOMEN in america that go out purely to have sex with other people on a weekly basis. Compare that to all the white guys doing it in Japan. Why the hell is this a problem? If we can accept this happening in America then why can’t we accept it happening in Japan?

No, I agree with Claytonian in that she is definately having issues with the fact that guys that she doesn’t find attractive (or the general public does) can get girls from another country. She’s probably angry at the fact the guys that do this (the perfect matches for the charisma man theory) probably doesn’t like the stereotypical western girl and her way to behave / live her life and she probably wants to tell them that every western girl is not like that.

But seriously, when does it become ok for a person to tell another what he or she should do with their life? As long as it’s not harmful to other people or breaking laws of the nation we are living in, we are allowed to do what the heck we want in this world (or atleast the ones of us that are lucky enough to live in democratic countries).

I do not like the personalities of men that fits into this description personally but I fully accept their way of life and have no intention of telling them to stop. Nor do I feel the urge to stop American women from being romantically involved or just purely sexually invloved with foreign men. To want to stop people engaging in such activities would just be racist and sexist.

By: Alex

Alex — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 03:23:12 +0000

Quite the contrary – I’d like her to stop categorizing foreigners in Japan, as if there is some quantifiable way of measuring the intentions of individuals based on our own biased presumptions of them as human beings.

Again, she chalks the bulk of her experience up to, “when I run across one of these guys,” which implies she’s never attempted to get to know them, and is, fundamentally, judging a book by its cover.

By: Dangomushi

Dangomushi — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 03:11:35 +0000

Just because she uses a single example to illustrate what she’s saying doesn’t mean she’s basing her entire impression of these kinds of douche bags off only one guy. On the contrary, she indicated experiences with several boys like this. Would you rather she get repetitive and make a detailed list of boys working in japan she knew like this?

By: kate

kate — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:56:21 +0000

Hmmm…well, if you read her entire blog post she makes it pretty clear that not every bullet point spells creep:
“I am not asserting that all men who pursue relationships with Japanese women fit this category…even if you fit every item on this list, I’m not saying you’re one of these losers.”

and also that finding happiness is good:
“there’s nothing wrong with these guys as they are succeeding in a manner which harms no one and often makes the Japanese women they couple with (seemingly) happy enough.”

Her issue seems to be more that dealing their contempt is a pain.

That point at least, I find very easy to agree with. There’s very little that’s charismatic about being a little snot.

By: kawaiiflamingo

kawaiiflamingo — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:23:07 +0000

Bobby Valentine is a Charisma Man! watch out ladies of Japan and the greater Chiba area!

By: Alex

Alex — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 13:56:28 +0000

It was the way she went about presenting her bulleted traits that has everyone up in a roar. She listed some pretty common characteristics right off the bat, so even with her disclaimer it felt like an attack. It would be like writing,

This is how you can identify a Nazi:
* Most of these men are tall.
* Most of them have blue eyes. I’ve noticed a serious difference between the ones with brown eyes and the ones with blue eyes.
* All of them (in my experience) like sports.
* Few of them have ever had a Jewish friend.
* Most of them have extremely stereotypical and derogatory opinions about people who are not white.

If you’re a tall, blue-eyed sports-enthusiast, you’re feeling pretty agitated after reading the first three bullets.

By: Shelly

Shelly — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 13:30:59 +0000

I don’t think half the people here are even reading her post. She’s not saying anything about all foreign men or even most, nor is she making generalizations. She’s saying there there are jerks who are foreign and male and seem to exhibit other characteristics in common, which isn’t the same as saying all foreign males are jerks. Everyone is making much ado about nothing.

By: Bruce Smith

Bruce Smith — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:07:37 +0000

There is some truth (in some cases) in what Shari says.

But on the other hand she also says that she has “lived in Japan for about 17 years and spent most of that time working for a correspondence school writing textbooks and teaching and as an English conversation teacher”.

Now 17 years is a long time. But “working for a correspondence school writing textbooks and teaching and as an English conversation teacher” would I think give a narrow and perhaps distorted view of Japan.

Also in fairness what she says about Charisma Men applies also to Charisma Women.

By: Thomas

Thomas — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:50:02 +0000

Yeah…The “most of them” formula follow n by a negative argument does sound self supporting…..but to the survey s question “are ALL those man dating asian woman UNFAIRLY labbeled as charisma men” I say of course not! Ok I never dated an asian women (but I admit having preferences toward women of other cultures)But I met asian obsessed geek and I think most of the characteristic she describe fit to the classical American emo anime fan…and here yes, we are in a sea of stereotypes….I think we should just bow to the randomness of love.. and lets had this: Travelling people, man or women, have more sex appeal! And I would say it work the opposite way that you re not attracted by your sister! The distance of lineage make it safer for your progeny ! (no offence on that one)

By: Ryan

Ryan — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:22:30 +0000

Um, thanks? Your progressive views on race were most enlightening?

By: Alex

Alex — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 04:17:44 +0000

K: “…her comments are immediately labeled as derogatory, and she is written off as narrow-minded.”

She makes the same critical assumptions that she argues against without justifiable evidence. She compared common traits with uncommon ones and mashed them together, claiming it was the norm. I don’t think anyone here is particularly offended by her baseless stereotypes, but most commenters here are trying to point out where she went wrong in presenting her very narrow opinion of her fellow foreigners of the opposite sex.

“Oh, the irony!”

That’s what we’ve been saying all along! See, we are on the same page.

By: Alex

Alex — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 04:08:28 +0000

But my question here isn’t asking about the distinction between the labels, but why the latter is automatically assumed in an international relationship.

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:47:43 +0000

Word x2

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:47:02 +0000

Appearance = preference
Fetish = objectification

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:44:53 +0000

I agree with you wholeheartedly

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:42:38 +0000

…At least you’re not saying that Asian women are sooooo much better because they’re subservient and nice and don’t require much “tending to”.

But still, you shouldn’t generalize like that, dude.

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:40:58 +0000

I think it’s pretty shitty when guys stereotype Asian women and fetishize them, but it’s unfortunate when ALL non-Asian guys are labeled as such just because they’re dating an Asian woman.

By: taiko666

taiko666 — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:18:50 +0000

By reiterating the stereotype of ‘Charisma Man’ in that way, she’s just reinforcing the stereotype of the bitter, bitchy ‘Western Woman in Japan’. Not a Good Thing.

I notice that her blog seems to have stopped accepting comments…

By: Another Person

Another Person — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:44:22 +0000

Any Americans spent much time in Meditarranean Europe? The situation is just the reverse. Guys are too timid and unswarthy to get laid, and girls are never alone for more than 2 seconds at a bar. Interestingly, Japanese girls don’t attract much attention. Something sucks everywhere, take your pick, but have some perspective.

By: The Overthinker

The Overthinker — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:38:32 +0000

What is telling is her statement that she would “never” date a Japanese man. She lists the reasons why, but instead of saying “I would never marry a man who was XXXX” she just says “I would never marry a Japanese,” leaving out the fact that there are a ton of Japanese men who aren’t like that, and a ton of (American) men who are.

By: Concerned Filipino

Concerned Filipino — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:31:12 +0000

Word.