Roppongi English: Part 1
I made a wonderful discovery at a book store yesterday:
Behold, “Roppongi English,” a book that promises to teach Japanese women real English phrases they can use! The author, “B.G. Johnson”, included an English introduction on the first page to make the goal of his book:
Ok, that last sentence seems grammatically questionable [it seems to be missing a "be" somewhere], but at least there is finally a practical English conversation for Japanese women who want to go to Roppongi, the foreigner-filled entertainment district of Tokyo, and get picked up by some dreamy foreign guys! To celebrate my purchase of this fine book, I’ll be sharing some excerts of the book with you. Since the book contains many comic book-style conversation pages, I should start off by introducing the characters:
First we have Tomoko, a third year university student. She’s somewhat inexperienced with men, but she has had boyfriends. Her favorite actor is Kiefer Sutherland!
Next, let’s introduce Kevin. He’s a 25-year-old American from Seattle. He came to Japan after graduating from university and he is now working as an English teacher.
No, this isn’t MC Hammer! It’s Tony, from California. After joining the navy and being stationed in Japan, Tony became interested in the country. Now that he’s out of the navy, he is living in Japan and working as a DJ at a club. People suspect that he also does other work, but nobody is really sure. He looks young, but in reality he is 39 years old and divorced.
Naomi is one of Tomoko’s classmates. She’s more experienced than Tomoko, and has lived in the states. She is quite good at speaking English.
Part 1: Tomoko goes to Roppongi
[Wow, what a nice Cafe/Bar! Tomoko decides to check out the place and have a drink. She is surprised to find the place is full of foreigners! Tomoko can't speak much English, so this makes her very nervous.]
[Tomoko notices a handsome foreigner at the bar, and he catches her staring at him! He decides to come over and talk to her, which makes her nervous. "Wow, he's cool," she thinks to herself.]
[He starts saying a bunch of stuff in English, and Tomoko cannot understand! She panics and flees the bar, bitterly disappointed in her lack of English ability. Will she ever be able to hook up with a dreamy gajin?]
Links to the rest of this series:
- Roppongi English: Part 1
- Roppongi English: Part 2
- Roppongi English: Part 3
- Roppongi English: Part 4
- Roppongi English: Part 5
- Roppongi English: Part 6
- Roppongi English: Part 7
- Roppongi English: Part 8
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Bravo! This book is highly entertaining. I can’t wait to hear more. And kudos to the author for teaching Japanese girls to pick up gajin.
Naomi is “more experienced” at what? English or picking up foreign men? Is Naomi a whore or an expert at English?
I could NOT stop laughing at the fangs they gave women who were angry: try and sneak in some good old-fashioned round eye bashing and they could NOT stop stereotyping women as what?…Vipers? She-hags? Man-eaters?…even for the length of a book.
The Japanese are so strange. As a friend of mine once said about one of the really untouched places of Europe (by immigration, he meant)…when white people are left on their own, they develop really strangely. Well, double goes for the Japanese, yeesh.
Since when was it difficult for a Japanese girl to pick up a gaijin in Roppongi?
This scares me , the fangs, I dont want to go to japan if they really have fangs!
Wow. That is about the dodgiest Eikaiwa book I’ve ever seen.
And in the introduction alone there are (at least) three grammar mistakes:
#1 “Let’s face it, when it comes to actually conversation…”
#2 “but copying that English also a good way to make some hilarious mistakes”
)
(note to author: copying this English is not much better
#3 (as pointed out by James) “That cute guy is still sitting alone and he seems to looking at you.”
My diagnosis: B.G. Johnson is an alias for some Japanese person. The grammar mistakes are the kind made by nearly fluent Japanese. So yeah, I doubt there is a B.G.
But this is a hilarious book either way.