When I first came to Japan as an exchange student I use to nod at all the gaijin I saw. Wasn’t sure why, but I felt like I had to. After about a month I realized people didn’t do this. Why the hell was I nodding in the first place? It’s like the Big Lebowski: “You’re a Lebowski, I’m a Lebowski, that’s terrific.” I have now reason to know you anymore than any of the Japanese around us. The fact that we both live in Japan is about as interesting as if we had the same first name.
Anyhow, great video.

The video has been removed

Been here 11+ years so far. When I first came here I also tried to interact with every non-Japanese I passed by on the street, kind of like what David says above, out of some sort of expectation that living in Japan was “oh so cool” and that I was somehow “oh so unique”. That eventually wore off, thankfully.

My attitude then was much like I used to do riding my motorcycle in the States, where there was a kind of solidarity among those braving the road on two (sometimes three) wheels, so between most bikers I passed we’d nod or wave or something to each other, even when going in opposite directions if we weren’t traveling too fast. But in Japan at first, I also seemed to run into what appeared to me to be the most surly and gruff-looking foreigners around, the wost of the lot I always wondered (making me take a quick peek in the window at myself, too). Maybe it was just my luck to pass by foreigners who clearly looked like they’d been here too long. At least I know I hadn’t yet, so my only excuse was naivety, I guess, as well as a fair amount of insecurity, as if an acknowledgment from another foreigner would somehow give me another layer of protection against the masses flowing around me. Scary but exciting world then, it seemed.

Nowadays in Japan, I simply smile, or nod, or both. Why? I suppose for a similar reason as among bikers in the States… a quick and honest acknowledgment of some bit of shared experience, which it still is to me, even after living & working here year after year. From all my travel experiences in various countries, both Western and Asian, I still have to say that living as a foreigner in Japan is very different than doing so in more Western countries, and the challenge of surviving it and more, ever the outsider (even if one does well here), is perhaps that implicit acknowledgment I’m talking about. If the other person doesn’t smile or nod back, fine. No loss. I think ignoring them when it’s clear you did indeed see them is a cop out. A smile won’t hurt anyone.

And if I happen to know the person or had met them before, which the longer I’m here seems to happen more often than the laws of serendipity would seem to allow, we go to the local pub for a brew.

Would have liked to have seen the video, though.

Sometimes when riding the subway, there will always be another foreigner who would give me this look and show off his Japanese girlfriend. I think there is a thing with people to think that foreigners (guys) go to Japan to find themselves a Japanese girlfriend. Personally, I could care less. But why flaunt your girlfriend, it’s like a “I have a hottie, what do you have” type of look.

Now, I don’t mind the nod… but I’ve done it. In fact, it carried over when I moved to the US and a CEO of a major media company stopped me to ask why I kept nodding to him. I told him that I got so used to it in Japan and also among Japanese friends and he said..”oh”…and shaked his head and went on his way.

I realized maybe it seems stupid for me to give the nod… But sometimes I feel I’m not conscious of doing it. Just automatic reaction I guess.

kndy

I always used to ignore any foreigners I saw on the street, bus, train, etc., until I noticed one day that some of them were my co-workers…

I don’t know what it is about Japan, but there does seem to be an inexplicable feeling of obligation to acknowledge fellow gaijin when passing by – although I usually resist it. At first I assumed it must be race-related. It’s understandable why a couple of white guys who pass each other amidst a sea of black heads would feel some sort of affinity with each other. But now, after living in Shanghai for a few months, I’m not so sure that this is the reason. Not once has a foreigner here even looked twice at me (at least not that I’ve noticed), nor have I felt any kind of urge to greet them in any way. Maybe it’s because the foreign community here is so large, but then again I wouldn’t say it’s all that much more than Tokyo. So what is it about Japan, I wonder?

I agree that there is some inborn desire to exchange some sort of greeting, however small, with other foreigners. It seems to be an acknowledgment of the shared situation of being outsiders, which highlights our species’s natural proclivity to make such distinctions in the first place, though I believe the effect to be stronger in a country such as a Japan.

I think Jontarou explained my personal feeling quite well. But I would add that this feeling may be stronger with those unable to communicate in the local lingo. Also when I first got to Japan I had a stronger urge to reach out to people whose experiences would be similar to my own. As time went on and I realised that I could communicate with the Japanese, that there were thousands of other foreigners in the country and as I learnt more Japanese the need to nod/communicate with random foreigners went away.

Wow, hearing other people discuss this makes me feel a lot better about the issue! I just came to live in Japan 5 months ago and I noticed this urge right away. If I catch another gaijin’s eye, I’ll nod or smile, but I try not to stare too much (might look a bit weird!). I once had another gaijin catch my eye and give me a ‘thumbs up’, which made me smile because we had exchanged this shared moment without any words.
My husband, who’s Filipino, has unique difficulties with the “gaijin problem”, however. Most people assume he’s Japanese, so whenever he sees a gaijin, he has the urge to nod, but knows they probably think he’s a native. When he first arrived, he had this urge to want to say, “no, no! I’m one of you!”

I made a student video about this very subject when I was at Waseda University’s SILS as an exchange student. You can see the video on my site.

I reckon probably anyone whos human has gone through this here. Ive been here just over 8 years now, t first I nodded and smiled and wondered why 50% of my targets for small civilities ignored me. After about a year or two I understood and joined their ranks. Now Im feeling myself swinging back more the other way again, though not as much as before. A quick glance to size them up,if theres not even a hint of recognition or return I dont bother. But I dont feel anything bad towards them, I know how theyre feeling.
Ive never lived in any other countries AS a non-native so I cant compare, my gut feeling though is that, at least partly, the need to nod is caused by the locals pointing out to you, at almost every opportunity, that you are NOT one of them.

I think most people replying to this are staying in large metropolitan areas where you are likely to SEE other foreigners. I live in a very rural area but make regular business trips to Tokyo. In Tokyo… its business as usual. As it is back home, you can find people of differing races and colors.

In rural Japan however, you can count the number of foreigners you meet each year without using all your fingers and toes. Some years without using all your fingers. Cerulean mentioned that bikers tend to give the acknowledgment. As a biker it was something I always did, and rarely got unreturned. (usually you could assume that if it wasnt returned, the other guy simply didnt see you, gave a sign so small you didnt catch it, or responded outside your field of view)

Im not suggesting you sit and break bread with every foreigner you meet, but once you get down to about say 3 or 4 others A YEAR I think you wont be so cavalier about it.

I don’t nod to strangers that I don’t know except for the seniors. If I pass an old woman, and I make eyes contact with her. , I would give a nod to greet her. It’s like showing respect to the elders. I’m Asian so I don’t know if that’s in our culture or not.

Unless you are born Japanese you will never be Japanese. A nod , smile or greeting to a fellow outsider (usually reciporcated) is a way to feel included in this insular country.

If I’m walking down the street I am usually too surprised to see a fellow white face to make any sensible reaction. Unless they’re in the tourist areas, in which case they wouldn’t be residents (in general) and the matter doesn’t apply. But on the whole I treat them the same as I treat everyone else here. I’m in a regional centre that is a bit off the beaten track (for white people) as it isn’t on the shinkansen routes, but is still a pretty big city, and I can go for weeks without seeing another white face.

I feel adequately ‘included’ as it is without some superficial fleeting contact based on nothing by racial appearance. No, I am not Japanese, and even if I do a Debito and get citizenship I won’t be treated as one by strangers, but it’s not a case of pure In or OUT. There are degrees. You can be IN for one group and OUT for another.

I noticed that a lot of foreigners would do the ignore thing. I don’t know why but it always seemed to happen on the street. If at a bar or at a party then everyone is buddy-buddy. Anyway, as for me, I would always smile at the other gaijin. To me it was signifying that, hey, we made it! So many people are clawing to get to Japan and we are the ones who found that secret path to get here. May sound cheesy but that’s how I felt. When I was ignored it just felt weird because clearly they saw me as we all still out in that country no matter what. =/

Depends on the size of the city you live in. I used to live in the sticks (yup, JET Program) and when I saw a 6′6″ Kenyan dude walking down the street I started jumping and waving my arms. He was just as happy to see me and we became friends.

On weekend trips to the big cities? Well, I can’t make friends with 5,000 people. I’d either nod or ignore, depending on the reaction I expected.

Well, being American and black I was already use to the head nod. I always thought why the hell do I have to nod I don’t know him, but it was solidarity. When I got 15 I said to heck with the nod I am ignoring it.

So when I came here I was already de-nodded by then. My girlfriend would always get nervous when other black guys start to nod and I just walk by. She would always say they look so mean when I didn’t nod back.

My theory is, you could be some derange killer and now people think I know you because I acknowledge you. If you are my friend I’ll nod but not my friend no need.

friendly is the best policy. dont be a wanker. there is nothing i hate more than people looking thru you. ill say hi to anybody if you have caught each others attention for whatever reason – gaijin or not. obviously crowded places dont count – people lose their humanity at some undefined density and just become an obstacle course for me.

a bit off topic, but a similar situation we all experience is the speaking japanese to someone and they somehow cannot understand a word you have said even though you know what you said is fine. anyway, just the other day, i experienced this in reverse. a japanese guy in a resturaunt gave me the nod and said something – of which i made no sense of… a few seconds later, (after the damage was done, with my perplexed look followed by his anger) i realised the guy was speaking english to me. he was actually american of asian extraction, but my mind was in gear for hearing japanese and i got half way thru asking him what he said in japanese before i realised. after that, i ll be a little more tolerant of the next japanese person to blank face me when i speak to them.