Well, I just spent most of today grading a couple hundred tests, so here are a few amusing answers students wrote for some of the test questions:

Question 1: Write what this man is saying to the old woman on the train (in 4 words or more).

In this situation, the man is clearly going to offer his seat to the elderly woman. An ideal answer would be something along the lines of “Please sit down here.” Quite a few students got it right, but here are a few of the most interesting wrong answers:

How about you this?

Do you play gamantaikai? [gamantaikai means something like "endurance rally," referring to the fact that the old woman will have to test her endurance by standing up.]

-Shall I sit down to you?

-Did you sit hear?

-You look glert.

-Do you exchege this cheir?

-I’m change to you

-What are you question?

Question 2: Yukie was supposed to meet her friend Carly at the park at 3:00. Oh no, Carly is 20 minutes late! Please write what Yukie is saying to her late friend. (Of course, it has to be the foreigner who is late.)

A ideal answer would be something like “Why are you late?” or “I am very angry.” Here are the not-so-ideal answers:

-I want to dai.

-I will kill you.

-I’m going to eat hamburger.

-Stop to smile, or I’ll be angry.

-Ok, let’s go easy.

-I’m sorry. Oh, hatu.

-Don’t play with you.

-That’s too bad Carly.

-fat. You name rait Death Note. [Death Note is a popular manga/anime/movie in which there is a notebook called Death Note. If a name of a person is written in the notebook, they will die. I guess Yukie was pretty pissed off.]

Question 3: Fill in the blank.

An ideal answer for this one would be a question about the party such as “What time is the party?” or “Shall I bring some food?” The interesting answers:

-What I have food?

-How about you, John?

-Why? I going you are home?

-That’s too bad?

-I will have a good time?

-Are you dirthbay? [Clearly a failed attempt to write "birthday," but it took me a few moments to figure it out.]

-Can I bring you home?

Question 4: Mary is going back to America for the winter holiday! You are her student, so please finish this e-mail to her. (Must be 2 sentences related to winter vacation.)

Almost anything goes for this one. Well, almost anything:

I’m going zoo.
I am seeing many bag.

I want to visit on America.
But, I’m going to school.

I’m going to play baseball.
But, I don’t like baseball.

I will go to juku. [juku = private cram school]
So I want many pens.

I’m not go to the shiga kogen.
I will go to the shiga kogen.

I will kill you
next summer.

Some of those were odd, but if they made enough sense in the context of the letter, I let them slide. I really hope that one kid gets the pens he needs…

That’s enough for today. Have a glert evening!