Terror in Karuizawa: Japanese Macaque Invasion (Video, with Star Wars music)

A Two-part video clip of a news segment that aired today about Karuizawa’s monkey infestation:

Part 1

Part 2

Summary:

Monkeys have become a big problem in the resort town of Karuizawa. A crew of investigative journalists is sent to report on the problem. The creatures are climbing around on peoples’ houses, eating crops out of the fields, and causing general mayhem.

The camera crew comes across one particular group of monkeys and locates it’s boss. I guess the boss monkey doesn’t like people sticking cameras in his face, and he charges the cameraman! Frightening!

Monkeys block the walkway to this family’s house, forcing them to wait for the monkeys to leave, lest they risk angering the beasts. The husband says they once gave food to the monkeys. Big mistake.

So what are such large numbers of monkeys doing in a populated area? [cue Star Wars music] The construction of the Shinkansen line to Nagano a decade ago destroyed some of the monkeys’ mountain habitats, driving them into contact with the town of Karuizawa.

There are a few known gangs of monkeys in the Karuizawa area, but the K group is by far the most troublesome. It consists of a startling 80 monkeys and spans the territory shown on the map above.

There are 11 boss monkeys in the K group, and intel files that include photographs and traits of the bosses have been compiled.

Luckily, there a force has been assembled to protect the citizens of Karuizawa from the Macaque menace. It is a force of AK-airgun armed oyajis, and they do not hesitate to fire 800 rounds a minute at the vile beasts. Their goal is to drive mankind’s enemy back into the hills.

Aiding the old men are their trusted canines. When the oyajis let loose the hounds of war, the monkeys flee in terror.

Unfortunately, after fleeing in terror, the monkeys regroup again and head the wrong way: you guys are supposed to be running towards the mountains, not back into town!

When the hairy beasts enter the town, they are usually following their boss. The above picture shows a boss monkey leading a raid into a human-filled area.

The airgun oyajis are nowhere to be found! This old woman must protect the vegetables in her garden by charging the monkeys and swining around a big stick. It’s a short term solution, but she can’t watch her plants forever!

Stealing vegetables is only one of the many acts of terror the creatures engage in. Here they are seen playing with a TV antenna. They love to jump around on the things and break them.

Evening falls and the TV crew notices that the monkeys are converging on an elementary school. What could they possibly be doing? Why, destroying the beautiful garden Karuizawa’s children have worked so hard to cultivate, of course!

The next morning, the anti-monkey squad begin their attack by abruptly awaking the monkeys with firecrackers. The startled monkeys start scrambling around on the roof of the school! [Cue dramatic Star Wars battle music!]

Get some! Get some! (What a fucking awesome job!)

BLAM BLAM BLAM! TAKE THAT BOSS MONKEY! The suprise attack is effective, and the monkeys run for the hills.

Shooting the monkeys with air guns might be tons of fun, but to truly drive them away the boss monkeys must be captured. Some bananas are put inside this particular cage, but it just catches some wild boar.

The oyaji then try their luck with a fruit-filled cage on the back of a truck. The monkeys are easily able to steal the fruit without activating the trap the first time around, but after some adjustments the trap manages to catch a monkey!

This isn’t a boss monkey, it’s just some small fry! Damnit!

They decide to place a tracking device around the monkey’s neck and set him free, which should allow them to pinpoint the location of his gang.

The tracking information on collared monkeys can be publically viewed at this homepage (Karuizawa Saru Nabi Netto).

At the time of this posting, the battle between man and monkey continues to rage with no end in sight. Maybe somebody should call in some hunters?